Perfectionism and Neurodiversity

I have been meaning to start blogging weekly for a few months. One of the things holding me back has been a need to make sure what I am writing is my very best work. That fear of not being good enough has lead to self doubt and perfectionism, and not a lot of writing getting done. I have several half finished drafts sitting in a folder on my computer that I have abandoned because I felt like I wasn’t knowledgeable on the topic or got stuck trying to figure out what I wanted to say. Perfectionism like this is very common among ADHDers. Many people who are not familiar with ADHD might be surprised that perfectionism is a challenge because they associate ADHD with a a lack of attention to detail and carelessness. However when attention to detail and carelessness are challenges, perfectionism can develop as a way to compensate.

While I can speak to my life experience as an ADHDer who struggles with perfectionism, research shows a strong connection as well (Strohemier et al. 2016). Perfectionism can worsen some symptoms of ADHD like procrastination (guilty as charged) and avoidance. It can also contribute to the negative self talk and shame that often develops as a result of the messages that ADHDers hear about themself in the world.

I’ve spent most of my adult life working to dismantle this internalized narrative and approach life with a more open and relaxed mindset. I know that being hard on myself and expecting perfection doesn’t help me most of the time. And as I work on blogging weekly, and in my life, I can keep reminding myself that perfection is unrealistic and unattainable and not to “let the perfect get in the way of the good”.

More about ADHD and perfectionism

Strohmeier, C. W., Rosenfield, B., DiTomasso, R. A., & Ramsay, J. R. (2016). Assessment of the relationship between self-reported cognitive distortions and adult ADHD, anxiety, depression, and hopelessness. Psychiatry research, 238, 153–158. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2016.02.034